Finding Joy

After two weeks of being a pretend stay-at-home dad, Clay went back to work at the beginning of August.  I know he must think George and I live the life between going to the zoo, McWane Center, daily park visits, and more lunch dates than I can count (or probably should confess to...).  And the truth is, we do have the sweetest life.  And I will be forever thankful for the way Clay provides for our family so I can stay home, and not miss a second of it.  There is nowhere I would rather be.

We went to the beach all last week...that's for another post altogether.  And then Monday came.  This was the most dreaded day for me, because Clay was going back to work 'for real', and George was starting 'school'.  I was bracing myself for George to cling to my hand, or crawl up my legs for me to hold him.  I knew he'd just fall apart when I said goodbye.  I was 100% convinced that it would be the most emotional separation for both of us- for so many reasons- so I asked Clay to come and 'help me'.  

It could not have been more opposite of what I was anticipating.  We got to George's classroom, and George let go of my hand without even looking back.  He went up to a girl who was in his class last year and even said 'hey' to her.  I looked at Clay, and felt so silly that I thought George was so attached to me that he would have an emotional come-apart without me by his side.

We walked out, and I realized that maybe I was the one with attachment issues.  

Who wouldn't have attachment issues with this kiddo?  

I mean...his love for life makes me so, so happy. 

So, the fog is lifting.  I think we will miss Nan for the rest of our lives, but we are learning how to function, and possibly- one day- thrive in our little family.  I'd say George has restored so much of our 'normalcy', for lack of a better word.  He's taught us how to laugh- really laugh- again.  He reminds us daily that we have to cling to the Lord now more than ever.  He is the most tangible evidence of God's love and mercy to us.  

Maybe it's because we've both been around him for such a concentrated amount of time, but there is a whole new slew of 'George Quirks' and catch phrases he's developed.  I thought I'd record them somewhere so as not to forget them.  

 George loves his friends.  That love is the same for human friends as it is for his stuffed friends.  Every morning he gets to pick one 'friend' to take out of his bed to go with us throughout the day.  You'd think I was asking him to cut the others in half with the way he agonizes over who he'll take that day.  As you can see in the picture above, on this day, I didn't care how many friends he took out.  So he decided that no friend would be left behind, and I think the joy in his face says it all.

 Again, pure joy that he can have both Woody and Buzz together.  

 I think we might have a problem here.

 George has gotten really into...girls.

He has some friends that are girls, and he loves them all.  I didn't think it was a big deal until all he could remember from Peter Pan was Tinkerbell.  And he knows how to say her name exactly, which I would think would be a pretty hard word to say for an almost-two-year-old.
We also saw a girl at Shoal Creek who was a nanny for some kids out there.  George stopped dead in his tracks just to stare at her.
I'd say we have a long road to haul with this one.

 George got a bouncy house recently, and not surprisingly, is obsessed with it.

 A new 'George Quirk' is his obsession with balancing things.  This was about a month ago, but I walked in to find George trying to balance his shoes on Harper.  She is such a trooper with him, and didn't budge an inch the entire time.

 He's started to really try to figure out how things work.  For example, today he was playing with a toy car that Clay has taught him how to make it go.  He couldn't get it to 'go', but I heard him saying, "Pull it back, and push the button!" just like Clay had taught him.

Anyways...in the picture above he's trying to figure out how the 'Cause and Effect' exhibit at the McWane Center makes the balls go all the way through.  I enjoyed sitting on a bench nearby.

 Again...I think he's trying to figure out how to make the 'rocket' go.  He's very literal.

 Maybe his literal sense comes from the 100 books he reads on a daily basis.  Clay and I were getting ready for church this past Sunday, and I noticed it was really quiet in the house.  I walked into his room and found him like this.  He had pulled out every one of those books and was just 'reading' them to himself.

Just a few of my favorite conversations with George:

We've been really trying to instill the concept of 'please, thank you, yes/no ma'am, yes/no sir'.  We've also had an ABUNDANCE of sweets around the house from people bringing us meals.  

George: Cake please, Daddy.

Clay: Good job buddy!  [gives him a bite of cake]

George: [after finishing his bite of cake] More cake please, Daddy!

Clay: Oh the cake's all gone.  What do you say when it's over? [hoping for a 'thank you']

George: I want more cake!

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This morning I let George pick out his 'friend', and he chose Mickey and Goofy.  He propped them up in his high chair, and then we had this conversation while I was getting breakfast ready.

George: Mickey and Goofy eat breakfast!

Me: Yeah buddy, you want to sit with your friends? [I put him in his high chair and put Mickey and Goofy on the table part of the high chair].

George: [to Mickey and Goofy] You gotta thank God!  Fold your hands. [puts Mickey and Goofy's hands together].  Thank you God!  Say AMEN!

I almost died.  I couldn't decide if i wanted to cry or laugh.  

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I think the hardest question we get on a daily basis is, 'How are you doing?'.  It's not because we aren't doing the best we can, but it's because we really don't know what to say.  Everyday we are doing great, terrible, fine, and everything in between.  We are so sad.  But we have not lost hope.  Nan's life may be over, but the Lord has started a great work in us through her, and we are thankful to be a part of it.

Here is what I do know:
I know we love each other better because of Nan.  I know we know the Lord in the deepest and most intimate way we have ever known Him.  And I know that Heaven is a very real place to us, because Nan is there.  Those are some sweet fruits to come out of such a terrible pain, and we are thankful for all of it.

To glory bring me Lord at last

And there when all my fears are past

With all Thy saints I'll then agree

God has been merciful to me!

Hear, gracious God, a sinner's cry,

For I have nowhere else to fly;

My hope, my only hope's in Thee;

O God, be merciful to me!