But this year, Easter has such a deeper meaning for me.
I guess it started when I glanced at the dress a friend made for Nan. It is the most beautiful gown I've ever seen. It is hand-smocked, and embroidered and has lace all along the edges. When she gave it to me, I knew we would use it for Nan's baptism gown, and for sure for Easter too. When I saw it this morning, I almost burst into tears- but not for the reason you might think. I felt like the Lord reminded me that Nan is clothed in royal robes of splendor right now. I stare at this dress that was made with such detail, and so much care, and it is rags compared to what my daughter wears as she is in the presence of Jesus.
I know that's a heavy thought for a lot of people- but I feel the need to share with anyone who may read this blog that Easter gives me so much hope. As I was getting ready for church this morning, I was constantly watching the clock and trying to balance quality family time and getting where we needed to be on time. I had some hymns playing in the background so I could try to wrap my mind and heart around what today means to me. All I can think of is that today, Nan has nothing distracting her from worshipping the Lord. And because of Easter- because Jesus conquered death forever- I will stand with my daughter one day and worship Him, too.
This time last year, when everything was so unknown, we were so worried. We worried we might lose Nan. We worried she might have a hard life. We worried about so much. This time last year, death seemed like the worst possible outcome. But this year, as I think about Jesus' death, the grave is not something I fear anymore because I know that Jesus has overcome it. I have so much hope and joy- even though it looks different that other peoples' joy- because the grave is not the end. I have hope that I will spend eternity with my Creator. I have hope that Nan is whole, and complete, and taken care of by the One Who created her, too. George asks me all the time if Nan misses us, and I really know in my heart that she doesn't. I know that when we go to Heaven, that all of our earthly needs and emotions are no more. I know all of this, because of Easter.
We sang this hymn today at church, and I just think it is such a beautiful picture of what Easter means to me.
Crown Him With Many Crowns
"Crown Him with many crowns, The Lamb upon His throne.
Hark! How the heavenly anthem drowns all music but its own.
Awake, my soul, and sing of Him who died for thee,
And hail Him as thy matchless King through all eternity.
Crown Him the Lord of love, behold His hands and side,
Rich wounds, yet visible above, in beauty glorified.
No angel in the sky, can fully bear that sight,
But downward bends His wond'ring eye at mysteries so bright.
Crown Him the Lord of life, who triumphed o'er the grave,
Who rose victorious to the strife for those He came to save.
His glories now we sing, Who died and rose on high,
Who died eternal life to bring, and lives that death may die.
Crown Him the Lord of Heav'n, One with the Father known,
One with the Spirit thru Him giv'n from yonder glorious throne.
To Thee be endless praise, for Thou for us hast died;
Be Thou, O Lord, thru endless days adored and magnified."