How to Talk to a Pregnant Lady

There's a point in every pregnancy when the question from strangers moves from a polite and excited, "When are you due?" to (an almost disgusted) "OH MY WORD...how much LONGER do you have?!?"  I think it's safe to say we've reached the second phase of this pregnancy.

Being at UAB is definitely a different experience, and Clay and I have learned who to avoid.  Clay has this keen sense when he sees someone who might say something that borders on being rude.  When the elevator doors open, he surveys the people already inside, and if there looks to be a possible offender, he politely holds me back, and we wait for the next one.  A few times, he's even changed our course of direction just to avoid someone who was B-Lining it to talk to me.  I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that it is like a moth to a flame with me and these people passing by wherever we are.

Between the two of us, I am much more of the spitfire, and Clay the peace-maker.  But in recent months, Clay has been blown away by the things people will say to a complete stranger, and has jumped to my rescue in my defense every chance he gets.

On a side note, Clay and I have really gotten into this little internet series that Jerry Seinfeld is doing called "Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee".  The show doesn't really need an explanation, because the title is exactly what the show is.  In one of the recent episodes, Jerry goes to get coffee with Sarah Silverman, and they start talking about the things strangers say to them.  Jerry said [to the stranger] something along the lines of, "I'm about to change your life for the better.  You can't talk to people like that."  He said he felt like, in order to make the world a better place, he should tell these strangers that the way they address fellow human beings isn't nice or polite.  This got me thinking, that maybe I should enlighten these people who comment on my (evidently) ginormous state.

Here is a list of things that have actually been said to my face:

"Are you having twins?"

"YOU'RE HUGE!"

"Oh my word.  You are about to pop."

"Are you sure you're not having twins?"

[passing by someone I hear] "ooooo...she big!" 

"You look miserable."

"You know I gained 75 pounds with my first one."

"When my wife was pregnant she got really big too."

[from someone who truly did not believe that I wasn't having twins] "Oh, I know what it is.  You're carrying one baby in the front, and one in the back."

These are just a sampling.  And the thing is, I'm not that huge.  I am an average size for someone who is 34+ weeks pregnant.  I've learned to laugh at the audacity of strangers, and write it off as a good story to get to tell Clay when he gets home.  There haven't been too many moments of uninhibited laughter in the last few months, so I'm actually thankful that Clay and I can laugh at these.  

So, in an effort to improve the world for pregnant ladies everywhere...here is a list of GREAT things to say to someone who is pregnant:

"You look great/fantastic/cute/[ANYTHING positive]!"

"You definitely have that pregnancy glow."

"You are all baby!"

...or you don't have to say anything at all!

So I'm down to the home stretch, and Clay and I are getting more and more excited everyday to meet Nan.  Her room is almost done, and George's big boy room is just lacking a dresser.  We've purged all of our closets, and are ready for a new baby to join our little family.  I'll do another post soon with George pics!